Cloutos

It's been a while since I've had a bit of time to sit on a computer and write some drivel, and I've got the chance today, so thought I'd throw some opinions out there in the form of The (soon-to-be-annual) 29th November Football Awards.

If you disagree with the panel of one, speak to my publicist - she probably cares a lot more than I.

Player of the season (up until 29th November):

3rd Place: Jonas Gutierrez (Newcastle) - Spiderman's arrival on Tyneside has given the Geordies a new hero, and until picking up his shoulder injury a few weeks back, he looked as though he was ready to drag up the Toon by the scruff of their necks and away from the relegation zone.

2nd Place: Geovanni (Hull) - After being released by Man City, it would have been easy for this midfield playmaker to have flown back home with his tail between his legs. As it was, he decided to join an unillustrious newly promoted Tigers team, and has managed to turn them into a legitimate top-half finishing side. That, alongside scoring a couple of absolute screamers.

1st Place: Robinho (Man City) - Everything the boy does is class. Okay, so this was a bit of an obvious pick, after he commanded the £627 million transfer fee, but he has more than justified the cost. He has enough skill to leave any defender on their rear-end, and has bagged more than his fair share of goals already. Look for this guy to be a legend for years to come.

Honourable mentions: Stephen Ireland (Man City), Rory Delap (Stoke City), Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Amr Zaki (Wigan)

Goalkeeper of the season (up until 29th November):

3rd Place: Mark Schwarzer (Fulham) - Fulham have become so much more solid at the back since Schwarzer took over between the sticks. The vocal Aussie doesn't make mistakes, and this has given the boys in front of him a new found confidence.

2nd Place: Paul Robinson (Blackburn) - Being rejected by Tottenham in favour of a clown can not do much for your confidence, but Robbo has found it within himself to step back up to the plate, and show Fabio Capello that he is again worthy of being selected within the top 3 English keepers.

1st Place: Jussi Jaaskelainen (Bolton) - One of the best shot stoppers in the world, Jussi has stepped up to the next level this season. Bolton would be well and truly bottom of the league were it not for him.

Dishonourable mention: Heurelho Gomes (Tottenham)

Manager of the season (up until 29th November):

3rd Place: Luis Felipe Scolari (Chelsea) - Chelsea have the players to be one of the greatest footballing sides of all time, but under Jose and subsequently Avram, the tactics limited their creative abilities. Big Phil has allowed each of the creative players (Lamps, Deco, Ballack, Cole, Malouda, Kalou, etc.) to work their magic, resulting in much more exciting games, and a bagfull more goals.

2nd Place: Martin O'Neill (Aston Villa) - The Villains have shown that they have the capability to push Arsenal for fourth this season, and more power to them. Youth, pace, exuberance - it's what football of the future should be all about, so managers like O'Neill should be positively encouraged.

1st Place: Phil Brown (Hull City) - A bit of a no-brainer really. Pretty much the entire footballing world expected Hull to be going straight back down, but a few shrewd purchases (Geovanni, King, Cousin, Zayatte) have turned the Tigers into a team who could establish themselves into a top flight team for years to come. The speed at which Hull have risen through the football league is another reason for the lower league team supporters to believe (dream) it could happen to them.

Honourable mention: Rafa Benitez (Liverpool... If they can keep it up)

Tool of the season (up until 29th November):

3rd Place: Joey Barton (Newcastle) - This guy would probably be in the running for Tool of the Season perenially, but to start the season in prison takes the biscuit. I had hoped that he had learnt, and would have come back with a new lease of life, but his slap on Agbonlahor just goes to show that he is forever going to be a mug. There is no place in the public spotlight for a goon like this.

2nd Place: Heurelho Gomes (Tottenham) - When will Harry realise that there is no issue with Gomes' confidence - he just isn't very good at collecting crosses. Add that to the numerous mistakes he makes, and you have a keeper who is always going to put the fear of God into his own defence.

1st Place and a runaway winner: William Gallas (Arsenal) - Seems to get very restless when he's been at a team for more than a couple of seasons, and has a habit of burning bridges on his way out. Having opinions about teammates is one thing, but writing an autobiography and publicly expressing these is another. No player is too big for a club, especially when that player is William Gallas, who is very much overrated by himself.

Honourable mention: Chris Morgan (Sheffield United - I know, they're not in the Premier League, but the sooner we get thugs like this out of the game, the better)